Overall, I think the biggest difference between Korean and United States culture is the fact that the Korean cultural psyche operates within a realm of Collectivism. Of course, this is quite the opposite of the United States, as we are known for our "rugged" (read: stubborn) Individualism.
Just like the individualism of the United States, the collectivism of Korea permeates through every pore of the culture. Let me give you an idea of what it's like on the surface of collectivism with some somewhat superficial examples:
- You will usually not see a personal vehicle that is a color besides black or silver. White is also very popular.
- As far as fashion goes, clothing styles are pretty similar across the board. Many young Korean men and women dress very similarly to each other. Whereas clothing trends exist everywhere, I don't think that trends are so faithfully followed by the population as they are in Korea. For example, the other night at a bus stop next to a university, I was looking around and noticed that EVERY person (probably 6 to 8 people) around me was wearing New Balance running shoes. Another example is that pretty much all young men and women wear skin-tight jeans (as is the trend of the day). Needless to say, you will rarely see someone with a sense of style or dress that "stands out".
These examples are also all part of the cultural aspect of the importance of "not sticking out", whether or not "sticking out" would be negative or positive.
In Korea, age is a very important signifier in almost every part of daily life. If someone is older or younger than you, you have to use different language to address them. For example, take the Korean word for "hello": 안녕하세요 (anneyeong-haseyo). This is the standard, polite way to say "hello" to those that are older, or are strangers or acquaintances (note: this is not the MOST polite way to say "hello", just the standard of politeness). I say "hello" to my students by saying: 안녕 (anneyeong). The same as before except I leave off the second half. I would never, ever say this to someone that is older than me. It would be extremely rude, almost to the point of being offensive, for me to say the shortened version to an older person. However, as a foreigner, I would definitely have more leniency in that situation. If I remember correctly, there are 7 different levels of politeness (ways of addressing someone) in Korean, but only a few are used regularly.
As a result of these formalities, Korean people are almost always friends with others their own age. I'm not too sure, but I would guess it's because one friend shouldn't command more respect from another friend based solely on age. It wouldn't be very egalitarian of the friendship. Additionally, it is rare to find a Korean couple that are more than a year or two years apart in age. In that case, however, I was told that it would be OK for the man to be older, but not for the woman to be older.
Not only do you show signs of respect to elders by using more formal language, but one almost always has to acquiesce to their will. For example, I recently performed with the teachers' band for my school's festival. Our band leader is an older teacher. One time we were supposed to have band practice (one of many), but I told him that I was supposed to have my last Conversation Class during the time that he wanted to hold practice. The teacher of the Conversation Class emphasized that since it was the last class of the year, we had to make it very special. So, what ended up happening is our band leader called my co-teacher from the Conversation Class and said that he needed me for band practice. End of discussion. No arguments or anything. The Conversation Class teacher had to acquiesce because the band leader is older and therefore commands more respect. The last Conversation Class was canceled. This was honestly a bit shocking to me, and it made me feel guilty that the last Conversation Class had to be canceled. Ultimately, though, I had absolutely no say in the situation, so I couldn't really blame myself. Not to say whether this is good or bad, but just very different from what would happen in the U.S.
South Korea is the most "connected" country in the world. Can you guess what percentage of South Koreans have cell phones? 100%. That's right, 100%. This means that many South Koreans own more than one cell phone (for many, it's presumably one for personal use and one for business use). On the buses, people of all ages are constantly engaged on their phone. Whether it's texting back and forth with a friend, playing a videogame (seriously...Koreans of ALL ages love playing games on their phones...it's pretty hilarious to see 60 year olds games that are clearly marketed towards teenagers or those even younger), or talking with someone, they are never far from their phones. I know a lot of people in the U.S. who are obsessed with their smart phones, and technology in general, but the obsession with technology seems much more prevalent here. One time, I asked a Korean friend how long someone should wait to receive a reply to a text message and she said, "30 seconds." In the past, I have sometimes taken hours to reply to text messages. In fact, there have been many text messages that I have simply never answered for a variety of reasons (I get distracted, I don't feel like texting, etc.)
To me, this relates to Korea's "bali-bali" culture, which translates to "hurry hurry". This is one aspect of the culture that I've had some problems adjusting to. As my Mom can attest, I absolutely HATE being rushed. This is especially true if I am still in the process of waking up.
In Korea's "bali-bali" culture, patience is not necessarily a virtue, as everything is expected to be quick. This relates to technology, lines, traffic...everything. As an example of this, my friend's co-teacher was driving him around one time and she was stopped at a red light with no one else around. Then, without any warning, the co-teacher decided to run the red light. When my friend asked his co-teacher why she just ran a red light, she merely replied, "It was inconvenient. We don't have a lot of time." On a related note, a taxi driver I had one night ran a red light and WHOOPS!, there was a cop waiting on the corner. Luckily, the driver accounted for this "faux pas" by discounting my fare. AND, because it is a "bali-bali" culture, the total time that it took the cops to ticket the taxi driver was probably about 5 minutes. Something like running a red light seems strangely contradictory to me in Korean culture, because yes, there is the "bali-bali-ness" of the culture, but there is also a great importance of following laws for the benefit of the greater societal good. I think I'll have to explore this more in the future...
The role of women is still very steeped in...well, tradition, I suppose. Even while it is becoming more and more common in Korea for both husbands and wives to work, the wives are still expected to cook, take care of the house/apartment, and rear the children. Basically, very "essentialist" thinking when it comes to gender roles. This is still often the case in the United States, but definitely not to the same degree as it is in Korea. For example, during outings with my English Department, it seems as though the men are allowed to drink as much as they want, whereas the female teachers only drink very very moderately. I think it would be considered imprudent for one of the female teachers to get as drunk as one of the men at one of our dinners. It would break the expectation of demure behavior that is placed on women here. Additionally, the female teachers are usually quite a bit more quiet than the men when it comes to contributing to the important decisions and discussions that are made at these dinners concerning aspects of the English curriculum, and other topics concerning the English Department.
Related to the role of women in Korea is the "Ajumma". Literally, "ajumma" translates to a middle-aged, presumably married, woman. "Well, what's so special about that?" you might ask. Koreans sometime say that there are three genders: male, female, and ajumma. The figurative connotation of "ajumma" is a middle-aged, presumably married, woman who is particularly aggressive in the public sphere. They will push their way onto buses, they will be loud and obnoxious in groups, and generally will expect a certain amount of privilege in public spaces in the absence of their husbands. My guess is that since many of these women have recently been relieved of child rearing duties (since their children are presumably grown adults by the time these women are middle-aged), it is their way of having a sort of "role release". Meaning, they now have some sort of freedom now that they no longer have the responsibilities of caring for a child. They are called the "third gender" because some of their behavior could be characterized as being more "masculine". I'm not sure about the veracity of my analysis, but it's just my guess. Anyway, I haven't felt the direct wrath of an "ajumma" or a group of them yet (the day will probably come sooner than later), but it has been quite entertaining to view them from afar. They also tend to have very tacky/gaudy clothing, perms, and insanely huge sun visors.
A gaggle of "ajummas":
Well, that's about all for now. There might be another installment of this if I think of anything I missed, which I'm sure is plenty!
