Korean Students Say The Damndest Things

(I thought that I would break up my series about my adventures in Vietnam with this special post. )

If anything, my students make me laugh and smile every day.  Sometimes intentionally, other times unintentionally.  Some things they say or do would be completely inappropriate in a school setting in the United States.  For example, my students telling me on a regular basis how handsome I look.  But I can assure the readers, it's just the students being nice and is not considered a "come on" like it would be in the West.  But, some of the things they say are just hilarious and make me laugh out loud.

You might notice that most of my stories I'm about to share revolve around my girl students.  For the most part, I've found that the girls just have a lot more personality than the boys at my school.  I should also note that the girls and boys don't generally have classes together. 

I think a lot of it just comes down to the fact that a young, foreign, male teacher, so the girls are much more responsive in class, and also much more silly.  All in all, it's just a lot easier for me to teach the girls.  I'm not sure why this is exactly, but I do know that other teachers share my sympathies.  If you're a male, then it's a lot easier to teach girls.  If you're a female, it's a lot easier to teach boys.  I have some theories on why that is the case, but I won't go into them here.  It's just a helluva lot easier to teach the opposite sex, for whatever reason.

Anyway, let's get started:

One of my new favorite students is the captain of my girls' 1-6 class.  She is really, really obnoxious and does not really fit in with the whole demure disposition that Korean women are expected to adopt.  At first I found it really strange that she was the class captain, because she is such a clown.  But then I saw how easily she can control the class with her energetic, outgoing, and loud personality.

So, a couple stories in her honor:

- When I came into class the other week, she and her friend came up to me.  She very excitedly told me, "Teacher!  I have a new dance I made up for you!", and she immediately started to dance in a way that would have made Elaine (from Seinfeld) cringe.

- She sits at the very front of class, so when class started last week, she put her name card (I had all of the students make customized name cards) right on my podium, and then gave me a coy, flirty look as if to say, "Hey, pay attention to ME! I'm right here!" I laughed so hard that every other student in the class just HAD to know what had just happened.

- Yesterday we were playing a game in which I give a letter of the alphabet to the students, and their group has to write as many words as they can think of that start with that letter in 3 minutes.  When I was checking the class captain's group's work, I came across a word that was clearly not an English word ("ock", anyone? pronounced "oak"?).  The class captain could tell I was suspicious of that word, and she started saying over and over again, "Teacher!  I know you know "ock"!  You know "ock"!  I couldn't help but laugh along with the rest of the students.

-  Every time we play a game in her class, and her or someone else in her group gets an answer right, she will jump out of her chair and do some power stance, or do a little dance.

I truly believe this girl should go into stand-up comedy.

Now, for some other stories:

- Since it's getting warmer and I tend to move around a lot when I'm teaching, I've occasionally developed sweat stains under my arms.  The students enjoy calling me out on it, or at least noticeably whispering about it.  The couple times this has happened thus far, especially when they have pointed out to me, I have held up my arms and blown air over my armpit as if to spread my B.O. in their direction.  This has brought the students to tears from laughing so hard.  One of my co-teachers told me, "You broke their fantasy today!" (I think meaning that they thought of me as suave and/or charming, and I am clearly not...I'm a joker first and foremost!)

- Another one of my favorite students is a girl who can't speak a whole lot of English, but she is hilarious.  She has a mouthful of braces, and will yell, "HI!!!" at me from down the hall (or when I'm standing right next to her), and then she'll immediately look down in this kind of half embarrassed/half cheeky kind of expression and move on.  To set up this story, you need to know that there are sliding windows that separate the hallways from the classroom (along with walls and doors, of course).  As I was about to start class a few weeks ago, one of the windows opened and there the student was.  She yelled, "JO-SYOO-AH!!!" with this half-crazed expression, and then quickly shut the window.  Also, during one of my first classes after coming to Korea, one of my co-teachers said to the class that I look very handsome, and this student yelled from the back of the room, "NO!!!" 

- This story is about another new student who is equally as obnoxious as the first one.  When I was introducing myself to her class at the beginning of the school year, I was telling my students my hobbies and interests.  After I mentioned that I love cooking and that I cook almost every night, this girl yelled out, "Marry me!  Marry meeeeee!" 

 - Finally, a story that involves a boy student.  We were doing a lesson on hobbies about one month ago, and I asked what Korean students like to do in their free time.  Among the responses: "Sleep", "We don't have time for hobbies, teacher.  Only study."  By far, the most hilarious response I got was, "Masturbation!"  My jaw kind of dropped for a minute, but then I just burst out laughing.  

- The boy in the previous story is in the same class with many other clowns and troublemakers (how is it that they are always in the same class, and not only that, but they are allowed to sit next to each other...somehow?).  I was doing a lesson on superstitions, and I mentioned that it is good luck to find a penny on the ground.  I asked the class, "Do you know what pennies are?"  One of the clowns exclaimed, "Penis?!?"  This always seems to happen with my boy classes.  I'll say something, and they'll immediately misunderstand it to be something sexually related.